Emoscopes

Because Emo Kids look to the Stars for Advice Too.

Aries

Yet again the emphasis veers to romance, thanks to the fabulous solar/lunar aspect. Unfortunately, Romance is the most tragic area of your existence, and everyone knows it. For single Rams an intriguing individual is likely to grab your attention today! So will his/her boyfriend/girlfriend! There should be some good opportunities to get to know this person and their significant other better. Just remember that opposites attract! You will be greatly attracted to this person, but their significant other will hate you. Well, you could always sit and wait for them to break up… IF that ever happens…

Taurus

You are likely to surprise and impress someone significant today by taking the lead. You will soon regret it however, as you will fail spectacularly at your task. Opportunistic influences should put you in the right place at the right time, but as usual you will let them pass by as you once again fail to muster the motivation necessary to seize the day. You’ll be in an excellent position to dole out some very helpful advice, earning you much deserved respect! Too bad no one ever listens to you.

Gemini

You lose a potentially distracting aspect, which should help you to firm up on a financial or practical matter! Unfortunately, that potentially distracting aspect was your little sibling to influenza. He/she will probably pull through, after being on a ventilator for 6 months but hey, at least you don’t have to worry about them messing up your eyeliner collection for a while. It might feel as though you finally hit the nail on the head over a lingering problem, or it could be the chance comment of a friend that gets you thinking, but keep on cutting and the answers will come. Just be receptive to the signs today!

Cancer

You should benefit from some financial improvements today, which can only mean one thing; more My Chemical Romance, Jimmy Eat World, and DeathCab for Cutie cd’s! An overdue shopping spree for some morose emo music for your iPod Touch will fail to provide the perfect lift for your feted, misbegotten life! Take a friend who will also never be satisfied with anything they have, so you don’t feel bad about your excessively fortunate lifestyle and upbringing. Whatever you do don’t bring someone who is less fortunate than you who will make you feel guilty, or advise you against buying anything too outlandish!

Leo

The fun and games that were lacking yesterday will be missing today as well. They should have been well and truly in evidence today, but come one, when does that ever happen for you? Romance sizzles for everyone but you, thanks to the both the lunar influence, and your piss-poor attitude. On a certain matter relating to a close friend you should go with your logic right now, rather than trying to follow a more instinctive approach! Remember, every time you’ve listened to your gut in the past it has resulted in disaster.

Virgo

Work or school is likely to provide the setting for some impressive defeat, as it has many times in the past. You’ll feel confident enough to take charge, but in no way should you; stay the course and keep to yourself. By all means, do not ruffle any feathers, who do you think you are? This is no mean feat, but for as long as you are you, with your personality, coming from where you come from, and looking the way you look, you’ll be in no shape to take charge! Please don’t go out of your normal position!

Libra

Thanks to a very beneficial aspect you are likely to have a day to remember when in comes to romance! No one will love you of course, or even regard you fondly, but you may just go one day without anyone making any disparaging remarks about your weight or appearance. And let’s be honest with ourselves, for you, you have to put that as a day in the WIN column. Singles could meet someone rather enigmatic, who will use them for money or sex, while attached Librans could be blown away by a sweet gesture that is used to cover up an affair by their significant other! However don’t attach too much importance to romantic words; we all know words are just promises waiting to be broken, don’t we?

Scorpio

You have not enjoyed the best of times over the past couple of days, and guess what bucko; you’re heading for a steep drop-off in the future! Work or school has been putting far too much pressure on you and so far you have not been complaining to anyone who can outrun you, but today the worlds is going to know exactly how you feel. Let’s see how they can ignore you when you take all of those aspirin in the middle of Lunch period! An evening out at the ER will be just what you need! God knows you don’t actually want to hurt yourself, but you will get the attention you crave!

Sagittarius

Your finances should improve significantly today, thanks to the solar/lunar aspect, and the side job you took exchanging money for sex. Honestly, it is your only skill. However, don’t spend it yet, no matter how much MAC eyeliner and Cure t-shirts go on sale. Hold on to it instead to guard against any more of your wild, violent mood swings, and for bail money. In the coming weekend, which is looking good for fun, watch out for abusive ex’s and any chances you have to vent your brooding rage. You’re still on probation remember…

Capricorn

It is likely to be one of those days where everything just clicks together against you. The planets indicate the possibility of an offer or a business based proposal coming towards a rival of yours today. But a minor aspect suggests that you read the small print, because it may enable you to foul up their sweetheart deal. Use your head, look for details, and your spite may end up ruining your rival’s life. Don’t leap in feet first, or someone else might experience some joy!

Aquarius

A stroke of good luck is likely to brighten your day today, but then soon, the other shoe drops and you will come crashing back down to Earth. Cash matters are looking good, until they’re not. On an emotional level though, your day might prove to be a little more demanding when you are forced to tag along with your ex (who you still have not gotten over) and his/her new significant other as a third wheel on their date tonight. Tensions with a friend might arise because of a confidence crisis; don’t be dismissive of their concerns! Especially since their concern is that you will kill someone tonight and go to prison for the rest of your life.

Pisces

If an unresolved matter resurfaces today don’t panic; there is no proof that you killed that hooker, you were meticulous! You could find you get support and help from an unlikely quarter, like Satan for instance… Delve deep into a problem to discover the real root-cause; don’t waste too much time on this however, because you know that the real cause of any problem is always you. Be prepared for some home truths, like your parents are horrible and suck for giving you everything you could ever want, but if you handle it calmly today’s planets could have a very beneficial effect! But probably not.