Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Football Proletariat Arises

After a couple of weeks of football have finally been digested, I feel a lot better about summer coming to an end. Besides the fact that Hurricane season is just as exciting as Football season, (and both are 100x more exciting than baseball season), both the college and Professional football seasons are shaping up to look pretty interesting. By interesting, I mean that no one knows what is going to happen, especially not the idiots on TV. It is an inverse correlation; the more sure someone is of their opinion about a sport on television, the more sure they are to be wrong about it. But we all know those guys are not paid to be right or wrong, they are paid to be loud and say things that make you mad. And that is what they are good at.

But honestly, no one knows what is going to happen in either league this year. In college football, the proletariat is definitely making a move to cut the heads off of the ruling class. Notre Dame was already taken to the Guillotine last year, and it looks like many more big names will follow this year; names like, oh, say, the entire Big East.

I mean, honestly, really, what the fuck? Really guys? West Virginia? Only three points against a multi-directional Carolina team? And Rutgers… don’t even get me started… But then , that is the main example of what I am talking about. Teams like East Carolina, Bowling Green, BYU, and Fresno state… FRESNO STATE! Have put major hurtings on BCS conference teams. I think this trend is going to continue throughout the year, even though the experts will tell you that "order will be restored" Well let me tell ya something, like the Joker said in The Dark Knight, things aren’t ever going back the way they were. Talented high school kids aren’t going to waste their time at BCS school riding the pine when they can start at Mid Major schools and have the chance to make a splash upsetting one of those venerable BCS schools. The tide has turned, and that dreaded "p"-word, parity, is sneaking it’s way into the College ranks.

In the NFL, after this opening weekend one thing is very clear; the National Football League is dedicated to making singers with funny accents as popular as it can. 2 out of 3 performers at the NFL’s Kickoff Concert on Thursday, September 4th were foreign born, and I do not think this was a coincidence. Keith Urban, a Grammy Award winning country singer, grew up in Australia, he performed a long set after singer Natasha Bedingfield, who grew up in London. I believe the NFL is trying to subconsciously force feed us international celebrities and making Buffalo play a game in Toronto to take away focus from certain domestic products that, quite frankly just stink (coughnfcwestcough). Yes, I believe the NFL is doing everything it can to draw attention away from it’s crappier teams with bright and shiny objects from other countries. God knows any sane human would rather see good old gorgeous blond Natasha than the God-awful Detroit Lions. You know your team sucks when even in a City in which the Mayor has resigned because he has been charged with a Felony, your pathetic squad is still the more depressing mess.

Anyway, Everyone in the NFC and AFC East won their games today, except for the Redskins and Dolphins, who played Division foes. If that means we are going to have an all East Super Bowl again, I’m all for it. Screw the rest of the country, what do they have to offer? I am all about East Coast Bias, and if Northeast teams dominate, than so be it. Of course, in keeping with the theme (there was a theme?) of this post, I guess I should mention some potential surprises in the NFL this year. OK, how about this… Howie Long and Terry Bradshaw won’t sound like complete idiots for one whole Sunday at some point this season. I mean, it has to happen at least once, right?


ParticularlyEvil said...

So, in the not-so-distant future, you predict some teams abandoning their teams all together in favor of their cheerleading squads? Excellent.

Lindsey said...

John - What is happening?!? Does Rutgers actually have the cheerleaders playing this year? I need a hug...