Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Getting to Knooow Me

A - Age: Thirty

B - Band listening to right now: right now, as in "now playing": Aaliyah, "Back and Forth". right now as in "in general": T.I., Lil Wayne, Weezer, Oasis, The Police.

C - Career future: Going back to John Jay College to get my Masters in Forensic Counseling Psychology so that I can get my L.P.C.

D - Dad's name: I don't remember.

E - Easiest person to talk to: Other psychologists and/or Sagittarius

F - Favorite type of shoe: Timbs

G – Grapes or Grapefruit: grapes. Grapefruit Juice

H – Hometown: Iselin, New Jersey Exits 11 or 131.

I – Instrumental talent: i can play the piano, but i haven't in a while. i bought a guitar back in august and have yet to touch it. i played the clarinet from 3rd grade until 10th grade.

J – Juice of choice: The one with all of the Vodka in it. That is, whichever juice has vodka in it at the time is my favorite juice.

K – Koala Bear or Panda Bear: polar bears.

L - Longest car ride ever: 12 hours to Atlanta. twice. Second place is 10 hours to Lexington, KY for a lesbian wedding.

M – Middle name: William

N - Number of jobs you've had: hm. let's think about this.

I first worked at Pathmark pushing carts. Then they brought me inside to the Dairy, then I spent a good long while in the Produce aisle. Then they decided I wasn't doing well there so they moved me to the registers as punishment, which I hated, so I did a crappy job.

Then came Stern's which was alternately fun and frustratimng. Especially fruustrating when they closed it and turned it into Macy's which sucked. I worked three Holiday seasons in Woodbridge Center Mall, which is akin to doing three tours in 'nam. Never again.

Then there was being a Community Serviice Officer at RU, which is a fancy name for student security. It was cool though, I got to work all the home football games my last year, which was actually pretty fun. Then I got my first real job working as a Case Manager fopr mentally ill people in a residential home, did that for a few years, got promoted to Site Manager, which was cool because I got to be tha Boss.

Then I became a Mental Health Screener, and I have been doing that ever since. First I did it in the Screening center for Middlesex County at UMDNJ in Piscataway, now I do it in Essex County Prison. Fun times, I tell ya.

O- OCD traits: Um... none really... I'm kind of an agent of Chaos.

P - Phobia[s]: I have fears, but no real phobias. Nothing that would actiually give me a panic attack.

Q - Quote: "What did I do now?"

R - Reason to smile: being alive. that's sort of all encompassing now, isn't it?

S - Song you sang last: "Don't Disturb This Groove" The System

T - Time you wake up: between 12-1 pm

U - Unknown fact about me: On three occasions I have considered being Poly, but neither time did it happen.

V - Vegetable you hate: beans, especially the big pale green ones. yuck. Though technically I guess those are legumes...

W - Worst habit: I unintentionally hurt others feelings and don't realize it till it's too late

X - X-rays you've had: CAT scan and teeth

Y - Yummiest food my belly likes: Lasagna and mac and cheese, both from my family

Z - Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

And I Am Outta Here!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Toxic Avenger: the Musical

There is good, there is great, and then there is Toxic Avenger the Musical, now playing at the George St. Playhouse in New Brunswick, NJ. Now, I am not usually one prone to hyperbole, but I am going to give it a shot here. This is by far the funniest play that I have ever seen. Not that I have been to see too many funny plays. In fact, the only other one I can think of is I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change I actually really liked that play, which is a musical as well, which may explain why I loved Toxic Avenger so much. Joe DiPietro wrote the book and lyrics to both. Apparently I am now a huge Joe DiPietro fan. He really knows his material, as he was born and raised off of Exit 166 of the Parkway (that’s way up North, damn!)

The biggest strength of this program is in its lyrics. The songs are exceptionally humorous and moving, and sang exceptionally well. Good material well executed is usually a reliable formula for success. The music and lyrics were done by David Bryan. Who’s that you say? Well, he’s only the keyboardist and founding member of Bon Jovi! If that is not enough reason for you to get your ass to New Brunswick and see this damn play I don’t know what else to tell you… Oh wait, yes I do, it’s in the following paragraphs. Do you really need to know the pedigree of Bon -120+ million albums sold to date-Jovi? OK, now that we’re all on the same page about Mr Bryan, I can tell you that his musical expertise is on full display in Toxic Avenger. There is a wide variety of musical styles sung in the different songs, and even a sly takeoff of The Boss on a couple of occasions. There are at least two tangos, which I was not expecting, and a decent amount of all-out old-fashioned Rock. These two NJ pieces fall together perfectly to produce a musical score that you are guaranteed to be humming all the way home. And now to get a little more specific about the subject matter.

For those of you who don’t know (and shame on you) this musical is an interpretation of the four Toxic Avenger movies all made by the infamous Troma Studios, where all truly great Bad Movies are made. In the original movie Melvin, our hero, is a 90 lb weakling who gets bullied to the point where his tormentors feel it appropriate to dump him in a vat of toxic waste. Now, rather than kill him like it should, it turns him into a giant, green, mutated superhero. Similar circumstances happen in the Musical, for different reasons (go see the damn thing for specifics!) but the outcome is the same; giant green freak runs amok in the name of justice and love. Yes, Love dammit! If there is one positive message everyone can take away from this play, it’s that if a Big Green Freak can find Hot Toxic Love, then you can too. And if not, then Everybody Dies anyway, so you can comfort yourself with the fact that whoever Tore Your Heart Out will die eventually too. The most impressive thing about Toxic Avenger the Musical is that there are about 15+ characters represented in the entire story, only 5 actors, and no intermission. One thing is for certain, if you want to be an actor in this play, you have to be in shape, because there are no breaks or time outs. Everyone is in action all of the time.

The cast is charged not only with keeping up this hectic pace, but also with doing justice to the wonderful songs and lyrics that they have been provided with by DiPietro and Bryan. As with every other challenge put before them, the Cast faces down this challenge and rips its guts out. Audra Blaser (Sarah) has great range, and proves it by singing a variety of songs throughout the story. She hits high notes and low, and even puts a good bit of soul in her voice for a little white girl. Nick Cordero doesn’t have as much range as the Toxic Avenger, but all he has to do is mutilate people and Rock Out, which he does admirably, so it’s all good. Demond Green (Black Dude) and David Josefsberg (White Dude) pull double duty, literally, having to sing as men and women. And the damndest thing is they pull of both sexes very convincingly. I have to say thought, I could have gone without seeing them in Tina Turner style Vegas gowns, but maybe that’s just me. And Nancy Opel does perhaps the hardest bit of all, singing one song as two different people. The performances really are not to be believed. I mean, this play should be seen just to marvel at the actors’ endurance.

I really cannot say enough about the play, but I want you to see it for yourself. You do not have to be from NJ to enjoy it, but it helps. I left that theater with so much Jersey pride I felt ready to burst. We are a state full of fighters, and we do not let anyone beat us down, no matter how much the odds are against us. We are also some funny s.o.b.’s apparently. Troma, as I said, are the masters of the Great Bad movie, and this is a Great Bad Musical. That being said, it is worth your time and money. The laughs are uproarious, and the Jersey in-jokes are great if you can catch them. If you go in their expecting Miss Saigon, you will be sorely disappointed, but if you go with an open mind expecting to have a great time, your every wish will be fulfilled.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Because Emo Kids look to the Stars for Advice Too.


Yet again the emphasis veers to romance, thanks to the fabulous solar/lunar aspect. Unfortunately, Romance is the most tragic area of your existence, and everyone knows it. For single Rams an intriguing individual is likely to grab your attention today! So will his/her boyfriend/girlfriend! There should be some good opportunities to get to know this person and their significant other better. Just remember that opposites attract! You will be greatly attracted to this person, but their significant other will hate you. Well, you could always sit and wait for them to break up… IF that ever happens…


You are likely to surprise and impress someone significant today by taking the lead. You will soon regret it however, as you will fail spectacularly at your task. Opportunistic influences should put you in the right place at the right time, but as usual you will let them pass by as you once again fail to muster the motivation necessary to seize the day. You’ll be in an excellent position to dole out some very helpful advice, earning you much deserved respect! Too bad no one ever listens to you.


You lose a potentially distracting aspect, which should help you to firm up on a financial or practical matter! Unfortunately, that potentially distracting aspect was your little sibling to influenza. He/she will probably pull through, after being on a ventilator for 6 months but hey, at least you don’t have to worry about them messing up your eyeliner collection for a while. It might feel as though you finally hit the nail on the head over a lingering problem, or it could be the chance comment of a friend that gets you thinking, but keep on cutting and the answers will come. Just be receptive to the signs today!


You should benefit from some financial improvements today, which can only mean one thing; more My Chemical Romance, Jimmy Eat World, and DeathCab for Cutie cd’s! An overdue shopping spree for some morose emo music for your iPod Touch will fail to provide the perfect lift for your feted, misbegotten life! Take a friend who will also never be satisfied with anything they have, so you don’t feel bad about your excessively fortunate lifestyle and upbringing. Whatever you do don’t bring someone who is less fortunate than you who will make you feel guilty, or advise you against buying anything too outlandish!


The fun and games that were lacking yesterday will be missing today as well. They should have been well and truly in evidence today, but come one, when does that ever happen for you? Romance sizzles for everyone but you, thanks to the both the lunar influence, and your piss-poor attitude. On a certain matter relating to a close friend you should go with your logic right now, rather than trying to follow a more instinctive approach! Remember, every time you’ve listened to your gut in the past it has resulted in disaster.


Work or school is likely to provide the setting for some impressive defeat, as it has many times in the past. You’ll feel confident enough to take charge, but in no way should you; stay the course and keep to yourself. By all means, do not ruffle any feathers, who do you think you are? This is no mean feat, but for as long as you are you, with your personality, coming from where you come from, and looking the way you look, you’ll be in no shape to take charge! Please don’t go out of your normal position!


Thanks to a very beneficial aspect you are likely to have a day to remember when in comes to romance! No one will love you of course, or even regard you fondly, but you may just go one day without anyone making any disparaging remarks about your weight or appearance. And let’s be honest with ourselves, for you, you have to put that as a day in the WIN column. Singles could meet someone rather enigmatic, who will use them for money or sex, while attached Librans could be blown away by a sweet gesture that is used to cover up an affair by their significant other! However don’t attach too much importance to romantic words; we all know words are just promises waiting to be broken, don’t we?


You have not enjoyed the best of times over the past couple of days, and guess what bucko; you’re heading for a steep drop-off in the future! Work or school has been putting far too much pressure on you and so far you have not been complaining to anyone who can outrun you, but today the worlds is going to know exactly how you feel. Let’s see how they can ignore you when you take all of those aspirin in the middle of Lunch period! An evening out at the ER will be just what you need! God knows you don’t actually want to hurt yourself, but you will get the attention you crave!


Your finances should improve significantly today, thanks to the solar/lunar aspect, and the side job you took exchanging money for sex. Honestly, it is your only skill. However, don’t spend it yet, no matter how much MAC eyeliner and Cure t-shirts go on sale. Hold on to it instead to guard against any more of your wild, violent mood swings, and for bail money. In the coming weekend, which is looking good for fun, watch out for abusive ex’s and any chances you have to vent your brooding rage. You’re still on probation remember…


It is likely to be one of those days where everything just clicks together against you. The planets indicate the possibility of an offer or a business based proposal coming towards a rival of yours today. But a minor aspect suggests that you read the small print, because it may enable you to foul up their sweetheart deal. Use your head, look for details, and your spite may end up ruining your rival’s life. Don’t leap in feet first, or someone else might experience some joy!


A stroke of good luck is likely to brighten your day today, but then soon, the other shoe drops and you will come crashing back down to Earth. Cash matters are looking good, until they’re not. On an emotional level though, your day might prove to be a little more demanding when you are forced to tag along with your ex (who you still have not gotten over) and his/her new significant other as a third wheel on their date tonight. Tensions with a friend might arise because of a confidence crisis; don’t be dismissive of their concerns! Especially since their concern is that you will kill someone tonight and go to prison for the rest of your life.


If an unresolved matter resurfaces today don’t panic; there is no proof that you killed that hooker, you were meticulous! You could find you get support and help from an unlikely quarter, like Satan for instance… Delve deep into a problem to discover the real root-cause; don’t waste too much time on this however, because you know that the real cause of any problem is always you. Be prepared for some home truths, like your parents are horrible and suck for giving you everything you could ever want, but if you handle it calmly today’s planets could have a very beneficial effect! But probably not.